Just the musings of a small-town professional ballerina, business owner, wife, and beagle mama as she attempts to make it through this thing called life.

Dec 23, 2015

in the interim

With Nutcracker past, finals finished, and the holiday season upon us, I'm feeling the sigh of relief breathing throughout the halls of my home and workplace. I feel it releasing the sharp tension in my shoulders and flushing deeply in my toes, making its way through easily and quickly.

There's something comforting about stillness but also completely unnerving. I find myself sitting here as my fiancee watches TV, fencing with the stirring need to be getting something done. There must be something I need to do, there's always something that needs to be done. Peace? Quiet? What even is that?

Since when has my family had time to go out to breakfast together? I can't remember the last time we did. And how lovely it is.

if you're ever in Portland, ME, you simply must stop in at Hot Suppa

There's a to-do list for this vacation, of course. Recital costumes and music need to be selected, school books need to be ordered for my last semester of college (something I'm definitely not freaking out about... definitely not), emails need replying, presents need buying, and I'm slowly dying.

(I had to)

In my time off, I had the chance to address my Smash Book (if you don't have one of these and you consider yourself an even slightly crafty person or a compulsive memory hoarder [like myself] then you need one). 

This book makes me look much more fondly on life. It's a reminder of the little things that show you the path to the big things in life that matter. As I sifted through piles and piles of my memorabilia or (for lack of a better word) crap, organizing and sorting by category: dance; teaching; adventures with Travis; and random personal items; I came upon dozens of little notes, drawings, and letters from students. From my first year as a teacher all the way through last week at our final classes before Christmas break. I unsheathed them from torn envelopes and unfurled their edges to find words that moved me to tears. "You are my idol, I want to be just like you..." What pressure the admiration of a child brings. 

And there were "thank yous." So many of them.

Dance has given me many things, whether it be blisters, bunions, smiles, tears, laughs, frustration, love, anger, or anything in between. 

But at the end of the day, I realized the only thing that mattered was that it gave me the ability to make a difference. 

It gave me a job that I'll always be qualified for that I absolutely love. That I have a passion for. I love my students. Even the ones that give me the hardest of times are probably the ones that need a teacher's love and attention the most. The ability to help others through physical activity and art and provide goodness to those who need it is why I will be forever grateful to my dance career and education. It gave me that.

Something to be thankful for in this season of giving and love is the ability to give love.

Happy Holidays, readers. I'd love to hear stories of your vacation adventures or just your own ponderings. 

Please don't be shy.


1 comment:

  1. I just found your blog and as a fellow dancer and dance teacher, I agree with all of this!
    Also, I need to make one of these. I mean one per year, of course!